Prayers needed!

Ok, so long story short I'm in the hospital right now. No it doesn't have anything to do with the baby...it's me. I think there's something going on with my heart. Either that or I'm crazy and have just decided to develop a random panic disorder.

It started in the movie theater on Sat night. We were seeing the Disney Pixar film "Up." So yeah, very non-stressful, all around good movie. During the last 20 minutes or so, I stared to develop a pulsating radiating pain going from my neck, down my left shoulder and back, and into my arm. My left arm and fingers were also going numb. Jesse thought I should just get up and walk around and see how I felt. I felt a little weird, but OK. We got in the van and started to drive back to my parent's house to pick up the kiddos. While on the phone with my mom, my symptoms got worse. All of the sudden I felt this weird sensation come over my body and my heart wasn't beating right. I felt like I was fading away...like I was going to die right there. I told Jesse to go to the hospital immediately. I mean, I really thought I was going to die. I kept telling Jesse that I loved him and couldn't stop thinking about my kids and family. Most of all, I realized how fragile life really is and how much we do have to rely on God in these scary situations.

Let's just say that I hate hospitals. The ER was awful, especially when I first got there and was freaking out, crying etc... They were all very nonchalant about my potential condition and just walked past me as I called out for help. As they hooked me up to the EKG machine to check for any irregular heart rhythms, I began to have another one of those "about to die episodes." That EKG did in fact come out abnormal, so they did a repeat just to check. It was normal. But then again, I was not having an episode during the second one. When I did finally see the Cardiologist the next morning, he seemed to chalk it up to the fact that I may have been moving during the test...but I knew I was trying to be very still. I know what I felt was real and SO scary. I have never felt like I was going to die until last night. I don't wish that on anyone.

They also had me do a stress test, which came back normal and so far all the blood work has been normal or negative (which is good). Tomorrow they will do a CT scan of my chest and an extensive ultrasound of my heart to check for any possible congenital defects. Not that I want to have a heart problem, but I want some sort of logical explanation for what happened to me. I really do not thing I have an anxiety disorder, but I could be wrong. What happened last night was just far too real and too scary to be a panic attack.

Anyway, for those of you who pray, please keep me in your prayers and also pray for wisdom on the part of the staff (God help them!) and the doctors in making their diagnosis. I really do not want to leave here with no explanation and the fear that this might happen again for no apparent reason.

And for those of you with a spouse or kids at home...hug them a little tighter for me.